Dressember 2016: Welcome to My Day Twenty-Five

Happy New Year’s Eve…Dressember Style!

I have realized how very blessed I am.

You know…I knew, but now I know! Know what I mean?!

I have only worn a few of my dresses throughout the month more than once. Not because I had to, but because they are my favorites. I still have plenty of dresses in my closet, untouched. What’s really cool? Out of them all, I have only bought one or two myself. The rest have been gifted from someone else’s closet or picked up from thrift stores from a thoughtful friend.

There is more, though. I see so many people wanting this year to be over. Good riddance, they say! Not me! 2016, even with all it’s bad, has been a great year of learning, and I choose to accept those lessons and carry them into the new year.

From the person who refuses to do his financial and parental share in my life, I have learned to trust my family’s basic needs will be met. I have learned to appreciate my own parents’ roles in helping me parent my children. I have learned that some people will never change, so it is up to me to make changes within myself so that I am not bothered by people’s actions.

From another, I began to see my own self worth. I can almost see myself through his eyes now. Even my flaws are almost acceptable because I am beginning to understand that to some, that they don’t matter so much to others who love me. That unconditional love is blind. I don’t understand it, but it is so.

From yet another, I realized that I am indeed capable of loving again in an intimate way. I didn’t think it was possible after years and years of emotional abuse and neglect. I also learned that taking a risk, and experiencing heartbreak only makes me stronger, and more determined not to settle for anything less than I deserve. I learned that I am indeed worthy of receiving love in return for what I give. I learned that at the end of the day, if I love someone, their happiness matters more, and I truly hope they somehow find it, regardless of how they may have treated me.

Another person taught me to take time to play. Really play, letting go of all responsibility for a just a little while won’t make the world come to an end. I was shown how stubborn I am, and that receiving help doesn’t make me weak. I started to see what it must feel like to be a princess, as someone actually wanted to help clean up my messy, chaotic life, and made sure I had everything I could possibly want/need. I was truly blessed for his willingness to love, help, and accept me through health issues, through sorrow and grief upon deaths in my family, through sadness and anger in which I displayed tears, yelling and even cursing.

In 2016, I finally received a yoga teacher certificate after the desire planted itself inside some 20 years ago. I have discovered a peace that surpasses all understanding. I have experienced blissful joy. I have found empowerment in the company of other like-minded women, and experienced how powerful the divine feminine can be. I have realized fears, started taken action to make dreams come, and am now opening my heart to new opportunities, which without doubt will now come forth from my experiences of 2016.

I look back with no regrets. I look forward with great excitement! I will, however, remember to stay present, to be here now.

Peace to each of you in the new year. May you be filled with abundance in all ways.

Namaste, Nikki

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